id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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