In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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