this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize