come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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