i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
