Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
