I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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