My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
