And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Watching her eat just hurts me
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
We smell like vodka and hangover
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