well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Randomize
