I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
