i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Randomize
