Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
