Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
