I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
