I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
