I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He keeps bees of course he's weird
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
