At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Randomize
