too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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