put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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