I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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