im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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