$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
