It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
