I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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