i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
