Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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