Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Just high enough for therapy.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
