If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
