Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
