By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize