i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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