do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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