Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
