No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
