Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
