so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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