After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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