We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
