I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
