I swear she didn't look like that last week.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
