I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
