She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
