Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
