eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
