Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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