This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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