actually, I'm a sock model
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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