Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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