Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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