Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
