weddingsv make me drug and hornr
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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