dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
