We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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