im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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