at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
