i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
