Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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